Tuesday our little family went out to a friend's house who live North of the Metroplex in the little town of Celina. They have a beautiful place, by the looks of it you wouldn't know that North Dallas is only 20 minutes away. Quiet, serene, cool breezes in the air, (don't get me wrong, I love the hustle and bustle of the cement world that I live in), it was just a refreshing scene.
Their house and spacious backyard is settled on the edge of a picturesque pond adorned with a quaint pier that serves as a vehicle to the water. The drop is about 12 feet. No problem. My four and six year old boys walked up, (safely tucked away in their lifejackets), thought about it for about 1 minute, then jumped right off the edge with exuberant smiles dripping off their faces. They continued this cycle over and over again.
Me, on the other hand, I couldn't do it. I stood their each time they jumped, wishing I had the blind faith them seemed to so easily possess. I typically don't like to jump from heights, but I have done it before. I have absolutley zero fear of the water, I like to swim, I enjoy the cool refreshment of the water. So, I narrowed it down to this: I could not bring myself to take that first step off of the safety and security of that pier.
Now, as I stood their contemplating the big leap, I stupidly let go of the railing that my hand was clinched to; only to realize a half second later as I'm rapidly dropping like a lead balloon to the water below, that my lovely husband had given me a little nudge over the edge. I wasn't mad at him, as some would assume, I was actually glad I was off that pier. But, as I climbed back up the ladder and made my way to the edge of that pier again, I still couldn't do it. I could not physically be the one deciding to take the jump. It was like my mind just would not let my legs go for it.
So, I have decided I am a chicken. A scaredy cat. Ughhh! I have also decided that somehow, some way, my boys will see me jump off that pier. I will conquer this fear that wells up inside of me. The next time I am out there, I am just gonna walk right over and jump! What is the big deal?!
I have been haunted by this since Tuesday. I need closure. I will get it.
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3 comments:
Yeah..call me chicken, anytime we went out there..I could not do it either! And Ty is too scared of me top push me off!
See I would LOVE to do that but put me in front of a roller coaster and I will run like a baby! I would love to see you jump! :)
Hi Carrie....I remembered seeing this blog via your MySpace page. I didn't have any contact information for you, but my family and I have been in Frisco for a little over 2 months. I was wondering if you'd like to grab lunch or something sometime? You can contact me by email at tblondin1997@yahoo.com.
Trish Blondin (formerly Johnson)
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